That was probably something I absolutely needed to hear/read! I’m so thankful for people like you! Gosh, I love you so darn much! I hella needed that. People like you deserve to have a halo above your head every day cause you’re just that kind. Damn, you don’t even know how much I needed that. You make me hella happy! That was a GREAT random act of kindness ;) Thank you again!

I love you Selena, oh so much <3

selenasag:

Don’t let that stupid thing get in the way of your life dude! Honestly, that situation was blown way out of proportion. What you did was a GREAT random act of kindness. Don’t be depressed because you did leave people happy that day. You and ***** deserve credit. It was genuine and sweet. Please don’t think no body isn’t here for you because I am!! Any situation, anytime of day. Really. Please don’t be sad because that makes me very sad. I am always here for you and just remember that I live you very much Nikki!!!

Hearing someone tell me that I hurt a bunch of people who I would take a bullet for, hurt me way more than whatever I did to hurt them. It’s ridiculous that someone would think I would have the intentions of hurting anybody—Mentally/Physically. I never, ever would hurt anybody. Honestly, the only person I’d hurt would be a bug.. &That’s not even a person. I felt so disappointed, but I didn’t know what for today. I sat & listened to someone tell me “You hurt these people” in so many different ways. Getting lectured about something that was totally blown out of proportion almost sent me to tears because of the way it caught me off guard. I literally sat in depression for the longest time because of the way I was treated today. I have never been so hurt by people who claim to be “family”. All I’m here for, truthfully, is to put smiles on others’ faces. To make people happy. I’m not selfish. I put this group of specific people first because each individual IS family. &FAMILY always comes FIRST. I have the biggest heart for all of these people because all they’ve done for me is make me happy. &That’s why, in return, I only want to make them happy.

To come to a room full of people that I did not mean to hurt, but unintentionally did hurt… Sucks. It hurts so much. I felt my heart break when I found out that I did that. To know that there were certain people who were hurt by me. When really, I’m only in this to make everyone (&I mean everyone) happy. I don’t want to admit to anything. I don’t want to be mad at anyone, when I guess the person I should be mad at is my own self. But I want to know what did I do wrong & why is this affecting me so much? I literally came home & cried because I can’t believe the shit that I went through today. To have to stand in front of a group of people that I hurt & apologize had me feeling like a really, really bad person. Foreal, the way that people reacted to this made me feel like I have to go jump off a cliff & die so that those that I hurt can get their satisfaction. Like I have to go die for them to be happy. &That’s all I want, for them to be happy. Because I never, ever wanna hear that I hurt these people, ever again! This was a painful day for me. &To add onto it, I felt like I had no support. I had no help, no backbone, no shoulder to cry on because everyone was too busy pointing their fingers at me. I literally have never felt so low in my life. Why did I have to go off & do this? … What is wrong with me? Did I screw up? Question after question, it’s not going to end. I don’t know what to do with my life. This whole situation left me with a very blank note. I don’t know how to go about this because it’s all so confusing to me. I just don’t wanna hurt anyone again. I don’t want to cry anymore. I just wanna live my life, making people happy because doing that makes me hella happy.

Wanna know what wrong I did?

A friend & I were bored. Had no plans. Had the longest conversation back & forth of “Idno, what do you wanna do today!” then all of a sudden, this brilliant idea of ‘Let’s give random people a random present!’ but decided presents are too much money. So something hand-made, like a letter/story! So I wrote cute little stories to random individuals. Super random, super cute. Selected a very random group of people let me emphasize, RANDOM (Like RANDOMLY popped in my head) let me say it again, RANDOM. Went out to deliver these letters. Getting text messages like “You just made my day!” & “Thank you! Love you!” things, made me the happiest girl alive! I felt like I did something good. I was making these people happy! We made people happy! We randomly made these people really happy. &You don’t understand how good that felt for me. Cause like I said, I absolutely love making people happy! Anyways. As our adventure/deliveries ended, my friend & I decided that we had to do this for EVERYONE. &No! Not because we would think others would feel left out but because we wanted to write a random, surprising letter for EVERYONE. We decided that we were definitely doing what we did again! Not outta pity, not outta feeling bad for those who didn’t get one.. But because we sure as hell wanted to! Getting positive feedback from those who got the letters is what made us decide that we were going to do it for EVERYONE. Now because there is way too many people to deliver these letters to, we decided to split em’ all up & give those people letters at random times & do everything again! 

Pretty much, what we did was outta the kindness of our hearts. We never meant to bring anybody’s day down because that’s not the type of people we are. We did not pick & choose. 

MORAL OF THE STORY—

I just want everyone to be happy! No questions asked!

I hurt a lot of peoples’ feelings today.

I can’t count on anybody anymore.

..Random acts of kindness doesn’t mean shit.

I’m a failure at making people happy—No scratch that, I’m a failure at everything.

In the end, I’ll always be the “bad guy”

Everyone hates me.

#DEPRESSED #FAILURE #RANDOM #ACTS #KINDNESS #SADFORLIFE